i m really confused that what i wanted to be in my life and i think there are so many people like me who dont know what they are going to do in future.
when i was in 3rd class whenever teacher ask about the goal of our life we used to say that we want to be a doctor,without knowing what its mean to be a doctor.Then gradually we grownup.Amusingly in 7th class when teachers seems to be very cruel and we were having hard punishments i actually decided to be a teacher so that i could punish my teachers children and can take revenge for our assult.In 10th class i realised that becoming a doctor is neither affordable for my family nor interesting as i was dumb in science and the second one the teachers profession is too mainstream and i could not make money from this which is the main motto of a middle class son,so sadly i had to drop both the ideas and so my friends also.In those days we came across a common ideas from every person that "Son go for engineering because it is affordable,have ample of money(ghanta i would say) and last but not least that it will bring you an educated and beautiful girl(what a joke).So without knowing the definition of engineering i started dreaming "yes i have to become engineer.Here i made the mistake of my life,.Anyway i got admission in engineering college having a large campus that is still dream for many of my friends who is having 5 acre college campus,so i could feel proud and i felt initially.Trouble starts when i have to do engineering drawing.Before college honestly i wasn't have any idea about pencil and drawing,because my sister was their in school,my sweetheart,my saviour.So had no choice except sitting and crying for mom and making dirty drawing.Honestly i tried my best but slowly i came to know that engineering is not my cup of tea.Then in what things i am good?or even i m good in anything?Asking these question to myself i remembered an incident of school when i answered all the ministers name of that time to my principle and he was so wondering.He was wondering not because a 4th class student know about yashwant sinha,jaswant singh,murli manohar joshi and all others but because he wasnt even seen me before that day.i was like this and still like the same boy of 4th class,reserved,unsocial,extriminist, low confident,shy and trouble in talking to girls.Well remembering that day i found that i don't want to be a stupid common man who just doesn't want a car,beautiful girl,esteem in society,he wants more than this he want to be on wikipedia.There are thousands of IAS officer in India but you can find only few of them on wikipedia and none of them like Arvind kejriwal.So do i want to be anothe arvind kejriwal?m i thinking more or m i feeling more?did i get more emotional.Well whatever i just ask myself m i too unethical,day dreamer because i used to loose all the battle without fighting or without giving my 100%.whenever i used to read a great novel i wanted to become another chetan bhagat or sometime i wish i could rap like eminem,sometimes i feel to be join RSS or VHP to protect the dharma,so there is a mix feelings which converges nowhere.I leave engineering,i ask myself can't i study engineering or i just dont want to fight,m i used to hide my biggest problem my laziness.Are those works worth only which is of our interest,simple answer is no we should do things with 100% confidence to things even they are not of our interset.You can't always find things of your comfort.So ultimetly my goal of life is to gain my confidence so i could say "yes i also can study SIGNALS AND SYSTEMS".
Enough for today otherwise people will starts realising me that i am underweight and this is because of my addiction of internet.
when i was in 3rd class whenever teacher ask about the goal of our life we used to say that we want to be a doctor,without knowing what its mean to be a doctor.Then gradually we grownup.Amusingly in 7th class when teachers seems to be very cruel and we were having hard punishments i actually decided to be a teacher so that i could punish my teachers children and can take revenge for our assult.In 10th class i realised that becoming a doctor is neither affordable for my family nor interesting as i was dumb in science and the second one the teachers profession is too mainstream and i could not make money from this which is the main motto of a middle class son,so sadly i had to drop both the ideas and so my friends also.In those days we came across a common ideas from every person that "Son go for engineering because it is affordable,have ample of money(ghanta i would say) and last but not least that it will bring you an educated and beautiful girl(what a joke).So without knowing the definition of engineering i started dreaming "yes i have to become engineer.Here i made the mistake of my life,.Anyway i got admission in engineering college having a large campus that is still dream for many of my friends who is having 5 acre college campus,so i could feel proud and i felt initially.Trouble starts when i have to do engineering drawing.Before college honestly i wasn't have any idea about pencil and drawing,because my sister was their in school,my sweetheart,my saviour.So had no choice except sitting and crying for mom and making dirty drawing.Honestly i tried my best but slowly i came to know that engineering is not my cup of tea.Then in what things i am good?or even i m good in anything?Asking these question to myself i remembered an incident of school when i answered all the ministers name of that time to my principle and he was so wondering.He was wondering not because a 4th class student know about yashwant sinha,jaswant singh,murli manohar joshi and all others but because he wasnt even seen me before that day.i was like this and still like the same boy of 4th class,reserved,unsocial,extriminist, low confident,shy and trouble in talking to girls.Well remembering that day i found that i don't want to be a stupid common man who just doesn't want a car,beautiful girl,esteem in society,he wants more than this he want to be on wikipedia.There are thousands of IAS officer in India but you can find only few of them on wikipedia and none of them like Arvind kejriwal.So do i want to be anothe arvind kejriwal?m i thinking more or m i feeling more?did i get more emotional.Well whatever i just ask myself m i too unethical,day dreamer because i used to loose all the battle without fighting or without giving my 100%.whenever i used to read a great novel i wanted to become another chetan bhagat or sometime i wish i could rap like eminem,sometimes i feel to be join RSS or VHP to protect the dharma,so there is a mix feelings which converges nowhere.I leave engineering,i ask myself can't i study engineering or i just dont want to fight,m i used to hide my biggest problem my laziness.Are those works worth only which is of our interest,simple answer is no we should do things with 100% confidence to things even they are not of our interset.You can't always find things of your comfort.So ultimetly my goal of life is to gain my confidence so i could say "yes i also can study SIGNALS AND SYSTEMS".
Enough for today otherwise people will starts realising me that i am underweight and this is because of my addiction of internet.
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