Helpless

sometimes u just feels helpless.U can tell others wat u really feels from inside.Even if u tell others nobody will be able to understand,an unsual feeling u developed inside your heart that other will find amusing or funny os disgraceful.What i m feeling is neither good not worst its smthing out of planet.There are many issues,i dont wana fall in love not atleast now.I know i am not that kind of person who can justified the relationships.I am folk i am wild i became crazy but only when when i m comfortable but there are very few people with whom i get comfortable.i am not a guru not a preacher i am not a saint,i m not here to solve others problems nd i hate it when i started getting change for somebody.i dont really wanted to get change.why cant i be like this?How influencing some people can be in your life that they even became the deciding factor for your daily smile daily sadness,happiness your daily dreams

Most of us....

1. Study Hard, get a job
2. Be a Job seeker, never a job provider
3. Work hard, Save harder
4. Buy a second hand car, Upgrade to a New Car
5. Get married, Have Kids
6. Learn from your elders; never correct them if they are wrong logically or factually
7. Buy Pension schemes, LIC Policies
8. Buy a Property on the outskirts of the city
9. Go out on annual vacations to Kullu-Manali, Ooty or Goa
10. Continuously complain about the failing law and order, never help accident victims or confront eve teasers
11. Express your discontentment about failed governance, never think before voting
12. Vote your caste, never cast your vote
13. Pass the same messages to your children
14. Live a happy old life, Say Goodbye to the world
15. Stay hung as a garlanded portrait in another flat at the outskirts of another city

That summarizes the life-cycle of most of us

Written 4 me by smbdy dear 2 me.....

aapke kehne hi kya janab, aap ke ander hai aisa tejab, jo pathar ko phighla de, dariya mein aag lga de, aap hain samandar bhawnaon ke , aap to katl kr sakte hain nigahon se, tcs kya are bht mukaam aapke wajood ko tarastein hain, aap to aise paras hain jo lohe ko sone kr saktein hain, ek daur wo bhi aayega jb aap phalak pr dhumketu bn chamkenge, aur hum jaise neereh aapke jhalak ko tarsenge, aap ko shabdon mein maine dhala hai kuch is tarah, bus taarif kr dijiye pichli baar ki tarah

Corruption-how to cure india

When I think about corruption, I think about me and you, I think about us and the society, and I also think about those corrupted persons, who are fighting for corrupting the corruption. Corruption is not a pebble that you can pick it up and throw it, like it is nothing.

Corruption is one million times bigger than the Everest, and the same amount of times, deeper than the deepest oceans. But as a matter of fact, corruption is not a physical structure and is now in our DNA and is flowing within us, in our blood and our heart is pumping it, loving it and nurturing it like nothing else. By looking at others we cannot see corruption rather we have to look within us to see the mightiness of corruption. The entire body of the society is corrupted, and just we cannot alone blame the politicians, executives, judiciary, business persons or anyone else for promoting corruption.

Can we make India corruption free? Can we really fight against us? Well, likewise thousands of questions are raised every day by you and me. And the answer is, yes! We can but not a big YES.

Yes! We can eradicate corruption from India. But let me make it crystal clear to you that we cannot just eradicate it, by changing laws, by doing hunger strikes, and street fighters on the road, nor we are eradicate it by the virtue of some persons who are fighting for removing corruption from India. And let me also tell you that all the dramas you watch on television and stories you read on the internet are not and never going to help in any way to fight with corruption.

So what to do? How to eradicate corruption from India? Well, let me suggest you some of the possible ways to fight and win over the corruption. As a matter of fact let me also make it clear that we cannot eradicate corruption at the stroke of the midnight, it will definitely take the necessary amount of time, and anything all of a sudden will have terrible consequences.

1. Change in Law

Some people believe that by making certain changes in LAW and refreshing the old law with new twists, we can diminish the tower of corruption. Well, I believe it will help at least .05 % or even less. There are many holes in Law and these holes are for eternity, so just by tweaking from here and there nothing great could be achieved. But definitely it will help, so we must bring the necessary changes to our municipal law.

2. Introduction of New laws

At present, many power thirsty persons are shouting and roaring like injured lions, to introduce new interactive laws to uproot the roots of this evil. But by just introducing a new law, nothing will happen because at present we have handful laws for punishing and tampering the murders, rapists, dacoits and etc.

And every day thousands of cognizable offences are committed and due to lack of evidence, loopholes in law and more because of the broken pillars of our judiciary system, the accused are released free. Day by day the pillars of our judiciary system are diminishing and if this quake continues then the entire system will breakdown within next 10 years, as a house made of sand, slopes down, by the slight of a breath.

No amount of punishment, no amount of penalties can engulf corruption from head to toe. At first, we need to set back the broken pillars of the judiciary system, and make sure that the already established penalties are implemented in the right way, Murdered, dacoits, rapist should be published. Every person who does cognizable offences should be punished without delay.

From another point of view, I believe that something is definitely better than nothing. So at this level of esteem evils, some new laws will certainly help to some extent, and that some extent, seems better than no extents.

3. Bringing awareness among people

We must bring awareness amount people about corruption. Well, this seems to me a big joke. We Indian, with the blessings of GOD, are much more aware about corruption than many western countries. In fact, that day when people will say, ‘What is corruption? Pardon, we have never heard of it, will be the day of wisdom for India. We must not create awareness about the evils of corruption, we must not ask our students to write an essay or give a speech on corruption. Because the more we talk and learn about corruption, the more we will attract corruption towards us. But does this mean that we should not speak anything about corruption. Is it physically possible to shut our mouth towards corruption? No, but we must…

Well, the above points will just touch corruption, but will not even pinch it. The nuclear bomb or in local words BRAHMA YASTRA that can completely eradicate corruption is this:

4. HATE and ABANDON

Well, we need to hypnotize ourselves, our society, men and women, children’s and every breathing soul of India, not to hate corruption, because we all hate corruption, but to hate the corrupt people. I think this is the wisdom of the day. We should hate and treat the corrupt people in the very same way in which our ancestors (high class people) were treating the untouchables, at that frame of time. Every corrupt person should be treated as an untouchable person and every innocent person of the society should hate the corrupt person from within the deep cores of his heart.

A corrupt person should be declared as a person belonging to a separate race (devils race) of the society. His family, friends and relatives should be warned not to come close to him; else they should be also treated as corrupted. Circumstances should be created in such a way, so that an innocent person should not give food, water and shelter to a corrupted person.

The family of a corrupt person, should be looked as an alien family, and the basic facility of education, services and business licenses should not be provided to any of his family persons, unless and until they themselves eliminate and abandon the corrupt person from their family.

Open letter to rahul dravid

Dear Rahul,
I doubt, I know a person who hates you. Over the years, I have met some of your most ardent fans and also people who may not be completely in your awe but still respect you to a great extent. It is hard to believe in a world like this where people are so candid and fearless about their opinions, they have refrained from passing even a slightly negative comment about you. It puts you in a class of your own, something that even the greatest masters of the game have failed to achieve.
You have gone through a tough time in recent months. While the sheer controversial nature of the incident that threw everything in a frenzy is enough to catch even the best of people off guard; I know, it must be completely debilitating for a man of your stature. You have lived your life by ideals that touch pinnacles of perfection, a feat that is impossible for ordinary people like us. To be embroiled in a controversy where you were not at fault must have been terribly shameful for you.
I am sure you would like nothing more than to go back in time and stop things before they happened. I am sure you would like to erase every single bad memory of those disgraceful weeks. I am sure you would like to correct the thoughtless deeds of people who you once held near as your own. But you know you can’t.
It is a kind of failure that you will have to live with for the rest of your life. No one will blame you, no one ever has. You have only got sympathy from people. But I know, sympathy is not what you want. You want to be at peace with yourself. Pity, peace is something that you have lost long ago in this chaotic world.
The success of your team in the recently concluded Champions League is indeed praiseworthy. Simply, getting back your team together on its feet and fighting back in the only way you know has been an achievement of mammoth proportions. But deep down in your heart, you know, you will continue to chide yourself about how you failed in your own eyes.
It was for a brief moment but that one fraction of time was enough for you to finally accept that the world has changed drastically since the last time you took it at it’s face value. It is also a lesson for all of us, a painful one but nevertheless a more important one to assimilate.
I can only imagine how difficult it must be to be a rahul dravid. Just as how difficult it is to be a ‘sachin tendulkar’. That man has been a topic of global debate for a long time now. I doubt whether I know any other person who brings out such extreme reactions of love and hate at the same time. If there are millions out there who love Sachin, there are a million more who hate him with the same undisguised intensity. There is no middle ground.
Those are his demons, very contrasting from yours. People’s opinions about him are generally clear and distinct, not confusing and random. This makes your demons more powerful and fearsome. You hardly give rise to anything negative around yourself, you are a widely respected person. The lack of balance makes you more susceptible to all the bad that is out there. Living a life with high moral standards such as yours, has made you more vulnerable to the outside world.
I know, a win in the final would have meant a lot to you. It had a purpose – to wipe out all the hurt that was generated in the last few months. I am sure everybody agrees, it was possible only for a man of your character and integrity to push your team to this extent. And in that right, you deserved the win more than Sachin.
Right from the first ipl  season, Rajasthan has always been a team that defined sheer dedication and hard-work. Shane Warne did a wonderful job of creating a group of young and inexperienced but talented and dedicated lads. You were his worthy successor. Under y

our leadership, the team flourished even more so. You gave chances to unknown names and nurtured minds with hidden potential. You believed in people, others long ago gave up on. It was a difficult legacy to uphold but you did a remarkable job with it. To continue this tradition is not going to be an easy task for your successor.
Today’s cricketers are different than you and your peers. Humility and Honesty are not the cornerstones of their existence like yours. Their approach is more practical and straightforward. It is filled with raw passion and aggression. They get what they want in their own ways. But that is okay, cricket has evolved so much since your time that today’s battles begin on a different note.
I am glad though that I have been a witness to your era and it deeply saddens me that my kids won’t. They will know you through books, pictures, and videos as a distant figure but they will never experience you first-hand they way my generation did. I now know, what my parents would have felt when they tried in vain to explain us cricketers of their times.
It is a natural process this – everything fades away. New heroes are born. Mighty in their own way, having evolved significantly different than those of yesteryears’. Change is the only constant thing of our life; the only thing that will continue to bind us long after we perish.
I am sure you will find ways to pay your debt back to the game – as a coach or a mentor… But, it still would not be the same. It will be like making a compromise. We have already lost you as a ‘player’ – a form that mesmerized us for nearly two decades. We will now try to deal with it in every way we can. We will re-live all the happy memories over and over again. But, in reality…….in reality, we will mourn this loss much later, long after the wound has healed.
With love, respect & admiration,

A fan-turned devotee

THOSE 17 DAYS

I m not writing this because i smoked or drunk and hell m not proud of it, i m writing this because those 17 days has come out as perception changing 17 days for me.Honestly i didnt thought it would be as awesome as i thought of being in spain.O stll remember the day my journey had started i thought of cancelling the ticket coz m too lazy to travel alone...Ok finally after some hectic alone journey and some memorable mountain sight i landed to the land of nizam i.e hyderabad nd immediately became witnesse of ash tray(imported from goa) and "gold flake"(earlier i thought it is flag but thanks to my mama i corrected my mistake) .The weather was really  awesome i mean just reverse,everyday i used to sleep with blanket .Well when i reached eflu campus for the first time it was all a different enviroment from a typical engineering college

THOSE WERE THE BEST DAYS OF MY LIFE

Those were the best days of my life when to do the homework was the only responsiblity i had,
Those were the best days of my life when going school everyday was the most common habit,
Those were the best days of my life when learning to ride cycle was the most adventurous thing,
Those were the best days of my life when girl next door used to be my competitor not love interest,
Those were the best days of my life when stealing biscuit in home used to be most undercover operation,
Those were the best days of my life when shaktiman used to be the only superhero,
Those were the best days of my life when titanic was the only known english movie,
Those were the best days of my life when "one love" was the only known english song,
Those were the best days of my life when there was no facebook only books were there,
Those were the best days of my life when samosa were of only 1.5 rs not of 6 rs,
Those were the best days of my life when summer vacation were full of mangoes,
Those were the best days of my life when N.C.E.R.T books used to be the only bible,
Those were the best days of my life when even calling "kutta" to someone is used to be slang,
Those were the best days of my life when blackberry and apple used to be just fruits not smartphones,
Those were the best days of my life when in the dreams only cricket bat used to come not the beautiful girls,
Those were the best days of my life when watching english movie was a sin,
Those were the best days of my life when there were no vulgarity there were love all around.!!!!

BEING UNROMANTIC

Am a boy who doesn’t know what love is….

                                 Is it reality or I don’t wana know what it is….

Moving away is what I used to do..

                                But I can’t figure out why is this my only tactise???

I feel love when I heared ”pehla nasha” song…

                                But in real life I don’t know where they have gone…

Is it my nature or I am too conservative or am I just afrid….

                                Coz I never talked to girls at midnight on tarrace with free Vodafone to Vodafone minutes….

Don’t know if any girl would love me for real….

                                 as these days romance don’t follow me….

I wish I will find her someday….

                                  If not my parents have to bring her on my wedding day…J       

All I know is that I love being romantic inside…

                                  But very sorry preety girls I am expressionless outside…L     

                     

THE BOY WHO SERVED ROTI IN MESS

Me-"aur fir sumit zindgi me kya karna hai?
Sumit-"bhaisahab bes english sikhna hai hume taki ghat(banaras bank of ganga)pe aane wale wideshiyo(foreigners) se baat kar sake,bahut man karta hai"
               The above written conversation happened between me and a 18-19 yr old boy who used to serve roti for last few months in the mess of my hostel.So the point is that what makes me write about an illiterate and unimportant guy.Well  i think i am blessed with a natural tendency(may be overrating) to observe the things other usually used to avoid.For others he might be another mess worker but for me he is somebody i learnt manything. Don't think that i am going to tell you his painful story that how he has to leave the study and forced to work in mess,i think india's pooverty statistics are enough to tell his story better than me and this post might looks boring to you because there is nothing exciting for everybody i am just writing what my soul believes.
                                                       I have been in hostel since last 5 yrs and in this life since 20 yrs and believe me i did't find anybody more hardworking,more joyful,more enthusiastic person even after  a payment of rs 1500 pm.i have seen people abusing him for the delay of roti but the smile on his face remains unaltered even after getting abuses for the mistakes he didn't commit.I will tell you the story of sunday,on sunday he has to run like a dog for full two hrs,nobody notice the he has to gone through,people used to yell,abuse on him still the humbleness on his face and his appeal to eat more on the gaurantee that he will serve better puri this time remind me of my mother who always feed you as much as she can,all these things makes me his fan.His "never give up" attitude is just unusual.Even after knowing of a dark future the confidence in him,just made him better than me and many others who used to cry for money, girls and comforts.He has proved me that happiness is not the jewelleries of "ambani" or "birlas" infact it is the quality that you have to produce in yourself and it doesn't have any directly or indirectly relation with money or girl or wealth.The only things that is not in his side is money that is the pole of life in this money minded era,except this he got all the talents an expert will have.Salute to you and thanks to you to teach me  one of the best lesson in my life and i am really hoping that someday you will definetely find your way just like the flow of river used to find through stringest mountains.
       
                                  

GOLDEN ERA OF DOORDARSHAN

doordarshan after 11pm

Few days ago i found one of my friend watching shaktiman on youtube,in the scene shaktiman had lost his power because he realived geeta vishwas against the rules of nature.My mind immidiately went to flashback and starts remembering the same episode,watching on black and white tv on doordarshan,the golden era of my life.yesterday i was discusing those days with  one of my friend and i found that she has exactly the same feeling of those days.Infact every person of 90's must have a place for doordarshan in their heart.
                          Now a days u may have 200 channels but belive me u can never have a complete package like our doordarshan.From a 5 yr old kid to 75 yr old olidies,from normal to disable person everyone had something from doordarshan.You may now have comfort to watch any movie at any time on digital big screen 24*7 but you cant have curiosity of waiting for sunday evening movie,you cant imagine the thrilling moment of adjusting antenna on roof for better signal and shouting "saaf hua or ab thik aa raha hai?".Once the picture is clear nobody cares about you and get adhered to tv.What was this?this was the magic of doordarshan.
                         How many of you wake up early in the morning on sunday?I think i have to go on microscopic level to find such young people.In DD era sunday used to be the most special day.We have to get ready by 7.30 am for rangoli with the gorgeous hema malini to ensure our weekly music dose(the only source of  visual music).After rangoli its time for greatest mythologies like ramayana,mahabharat.Till 10 am we all kids got ready and already started praying for electricity to be there inbetween 12 to 1pm noon,because it was time for shaktiman,my favourite,everyone's favourite,the baap of all the superhero of today.We used to cry when villian beat shaktimaan,we used to joy like crazy on his every victory.Infact i also got the crude meaning of love from the story of shaktiman and geeta vishwas,the immortal love story.On the evening we used to cancel our cricket matches just to watch the 4pm movie(during which the tv room were efficiently transformed into a mini multiplex) that was cunningly shortened to 2.30 hrs because of 7pm news bulletin.Hindi news,urdu news,job news(dont know why we even watch this also) and for hearing disable people(used to immitate anchor in school).Currently we have so many news channel covering the news of "which khan slapped whom" to "cold of sonia ghandhi" but back then we were having NEWS,the real and meaningful news.Being a dweller of border area near to nepal it was a bonus to have nepali channel,they used to show comparatively newer bollywood movies,for that again we had to twist the antenna towards north.:)
                                                     Ads of those days were also having their special importance in our life,the competetion between colgate and pepsodant or inbetween "RIN supreme and fena hi lena" "vicco termeric",rasna ad(the girl was so beautiful), all were realistics ad, not like todays so called "AXE EFFECT" making fool of us.Infact axe effect is proving that we are not going to be more civilized but rather than we are going in stone age where people(or animal) used to sense by smelling.:)

too much memory in just one picture

                                                   Remembering the shows of those days,(i dont remember many but thanx to my friend for reminding me many of them),i would like to name few of them.There was surbhi the most excellent show hosted by a very beautiful women(don't exactly remember her name) showing the diversity of india and in the end of the show there was ample of letters to read for them(unfortunetly back those days we didn't had acess to google".There was few kids related show like tarang,juniorji(awkward),bikram betaal :duck tails(my fav)"alif laila(i used to dream of having the same zinn of alif laila in my real life)" and manymore.Chandrakanta was another excellent drama(notably krooor singh was so famous),yug(the patriotic one).There were some excellent horror show like aapbeeti(i guess made by some patni peerit people bcause of only female ghosts in each episode)There were" fauji," "circus""humlog" but i don't remember(i guess i was too little to remember these).
                                       Sometimes i wish i could have a time machine so i could go back to those days and enjoy them one more time.Really we didn't thought that those would be the most memorable days of our life and many others......Well....with this i would stop my fingers(its really paining now).Thankyou,take care!

ME: turning 21

Few days ago I wished my friend on his 21th bday, after wishing him I started saying some boring stuff like d oldies do when u go to them specially for bday blessings. So, after listening all my stuff, he replied,'' abe itna bhi mat suna tu bhi 21 ka hone wala hai"! that time I realized that I am turning 21 in few months officially eligible to get married in india.

                  Yes. I am turning 21 in June 2013 . After listening boring and unusual  stuff people feel that I am still 10(which is my mental age as they say) but my physical or real age is 20.At the end that is what matters!.

                                    Last week world celebrated "International Womens Day". So i thought why shouldn't i write about some of the women in my life and meaning of being with them.People say " Behind every successful person there is a woman well at 20 i am not successful but still have some women who shaped my life

                              Well i have very few women in my life.here few means very few,u can count them in octal numbers(only for engineers)   First and the most important women in my life is my Nanimaa.If god will ever ask me for any special blessing i would tell god to make my nanimaa immortal so that she could always being with me narrating the story of "aam ka ped", "sher and siyar" ,"aasmaan gira" and many more unforgettable.But she has only one wish for me and that is that i could gain some weight:).Well if i will start writing on her there will be no real end so i should move on.Second is my mother because of whom I am here and writing this article.People might call her stereotype or "aagyakari bahu".Whenever i am at home she just want to feed me as much as she could without caring about my plane stomach.Shes a saree addict and watch tv serial just to be updated on new saree design.The third one will be ofcourse my sister my sweetheart,shes was always being my shadow and my saviour.Then it comes one of my close friend,shes elder than me but always being like younger than me,used to feed me pizza on every meeting.Shes always being my inspiration and in few of those who actually cares about me.There its somebody else i cant explain you,shes been always there but never seen her.Apart from all these there are few female friends i have and they are the reason for positive influence in my life.The best thing about women is that they makes your life exiting by their presence.

                                    From real-life women to my dream girls,i really used to love somebody but worst thing is that she used to be my school teacher and now a happy married women(seriously sad) with 2 cute baby.....Well what if she's not there with me,i am happy to see smile on her face on every "good morning" greeted by me.Apart from this I am great fan of Maria Sharapova,i used to cut her picture from newspaper in school days that was mistakenly once revelead to my sanskrit teacher:(.

                                Now a days i used to write whole day and used to think about topic i can write .I know i am dumb on speaking but still have some creativity in my mind. I have no full faith in my so called '' creativity''  but there is a refreshment i got from it,it is the same like watching my fav wake up sid or znmd,it makes me busy and reduce my laziness and addiction to facebook.FB finally i have ur replacement:)

                               So its all about turning 21 I am feeling d change enjoying it. SADDA HAQ from Rockstar is my new anthem. ''जिंदगी उतनी बुरी नही होती जितनी आप सोचते है पर उतनी अच्छी नही होती जितनी आप चाहते हो!पर Intresting जरुर होती है, is my new quote about life.

                               After reading all these u might think I am over analyzing my life. But its not like that all d way! I want to marry a hot and sexy woman & have children(at least a daughter),..Want to b successful and rich & at last a better human being.

i wish i could say

I may not looks like a famous guy but i am famous enough to feel you proud on me.
I may not looks like a strong person  but i am strong enough to save you from storm.
I may not looks like a responsible person but i am responsible enough to take care of you.
I may not looks like a comic champ but i am amusing enough to make you laugh when its hard for you to even smile.
I may not looks like crazy psycho but i am crazy enough to get you icecream in the cold midnight on your one wish.
I may not looks like an active guy but i am active enough to hug you in your hard time.
I may not looks like a sensible person but i am sensible enough to notice your pain through your eyes.
I may not looks like a matured guy but i am matured enough to forgive you for your silly mistakes.
I may not looks like a smart guy but i am smart enough to get your attention in the crowd of many.
i may not looks like a romantic guy but i am romantic enough to love you like a bollywood actor.
I may not looks nice enough to get your love but i am  nice enough to to love you without getting it back.

GIRL I WANT

Every man in this world have some common interest.One of them is to get the girl of their dream,the girl made in heaven for him,the girl that makes their life more than perfect,the girl who can transform them from a boy to a real man,the girl who can let them feel loved and responsible,the girl who won't let them miss their mom's handmade food,care of grandmaa,gossips of sister and the last the girl who can erase the memory of the girlfriend they used to have before her:).
                                                               Well in my case neither i ca expect the supergirl in my life because i am not a superman nor i can expect katrina kaif obviously because i am not salman(even i don't want to be).So what i expect.So what type of girl suit me?Or even will i get a girl?well my nanimaa noded and thinks that i couldn't get married because i am underweight and still looks like a child.So ultimately i have to eat a lot to get a girl that i really can't do.
                             Well in the case i will be lucky and could get a girl what i want.Do i  just want her to make good food for me like a pativrata(spelling check).No obviously not,Infact i want a best friend more than a girl in my life who can watch whole of the test match with me(couldn't find such girl even in heaven),who can listen to all the "kaanfadoo" metallica songs with me and dance like crazy,who can watch all my favourite movies with me and always oppose to my opinion,who will never cry for jewelleries like all other women instead i want her to say"AUR TEZ" during our bike ride Well in return she can also expect  me to serve her coffee at 4;30 am morning,she can expect me to remeber her birthday even 1 month before,she can expect me to watch all the saas bahu serial with her without saying "DAMN NO I CANT DIGEST THIS CRAP ANYMORE".
                                                         Combining all my "khayali pulaav" i want somebody who didn't exist,so i thought sleeping without any hurry is better than google searching the girl.Thanku for today,having cold can't write much,Good night

AM I ANOTHER LOOSER

i m really confused that what i wanted to be in my life and i think there are so many people like me who dont know what they are going to do in future.
                                                           when i was in 3rd class whenever teacher ask about the goal of our life we used to say that we want to be a doctor,without knowing what its mean to be a doctor.Then gradually we grownup.Amusingly in 7th class when teachers seems to be very cruel and we were having hard punishments i actually decided to be a teacher so that i could punish my teachers children and can take revenge for our assult.In 10th class i realised that becoming a doctor is neither affordable for my family nor interesting as i was dumb in science and the second one the teachers profession is too mainstream and i could not make money from this which is the main motto of a middle class son,so sadly i had to drop both the ideas and so my friends also.In those days we came across a common ideas from every person that "Son go for engineering because it is affordable,have ample of money(ghanta i would say) and last but not least that it will bring you an educated and beautiful girl(what a joke).So without knowing the definition of engineering i started dreaming "yes i have to become engineer.Here i made the mistake of my life,.Anyway i got admission in engineering college having a large campus that is still dream for many of my friends who is having 5 acre college campus,so i could feel proud and i felt initially.Trouble starts when i have to do engineering drawing.Before college honestly i wasn't have any idea about pencil and drawing,because my sister was their in school,my sweetheart,my saviour.So had no choice except sitting and crying for mom and making dirty drawing.Honestly i tried my best but slowly i came to know that engineering is not my cup of tea.Then in what things i am good?or even i m good in anything?Asking these question to myself i remembered an incident of school when  i answered all the ministers name of that time to my principle and he was so wondering.He was wondering not because a 4th class student know about yashwant sinha,jaswant singh,murli manohar joshi and all others but because he wasnt even seen me before that day.i was like this and still like the same boy of 4th class,reserved,unsocial,extriminist, low confident,shy and trouble in talking to girls.Well remembering that day i found that i don't want to be a stupid common man who just  doesn't want a  car,beautiful girl,esteem in society,he wants more than this he want to be on wikipedia.There are thousands of IAS officer in India but you can find only few of them on wikipedia and none of them like Arvind kejriwal.So do i want to be anothe arvind kejriwal?m i thinking more or m i feeling more?did i get more emotional.Well whatever i just ask myself m i too unethical,day dreamer because i used to loose all the battle without fighting or without giving my 100%.whenever i used to read a great novel i wanted to become another chetan bhagat or sometime i wish i could rap like eminem,sometimes i feel to be join RSS or VHP to protect the dharma,so there is a mix feelings which converges nowhere.I leave engineering,i ask myself can't i study engineering or i just dont want to fight,m i used to hide my biggest problem my laziness.Are those works worth only which is of our interest,simple answer is no we should do things with 100% confidence to things even they are not of our interset.You can't always find things of your comfort.So ultimetly my goal of life is to gain my confidence so i could say "yes i also can study SIGNALS AND SYSTEMS".
                                                                                               Enough for today  otherwise people will starts realising me that i am underweight and this is because of my addiction of internet.